hAAAAAACHOOOOOOOO

Godbless you! Almost blew your wig off!

At least I didn't pee my pants!

"KELLLLLLEEEEYYYYY"

him: What?

"I seen your girlfriend hauling trash."

Me: Want a chocolate covered coffee bean?
Woman: No thanks. I just had lunch. Last time I had a bag of those it was bad. I ate the whole thing and I was as high as a Georgia pine. Then the next day I crashed...HARD!

7:40am

Woman: Where are you going?
Boss: Out with the supervisor.
Woman: Where's that so I can tell people?
Supervisor: We're going out there, you know?
Boss: They said we're meeting here and carpooling over.
Supervisor: Hell no we aren't!! I'm not getting cramped in the back seat. The little guy don't care about that but I do.
Boss: Okay then.
Supervisor: Then I have to go up the mountain to feed the animals apples; deer, bears, racoons. Have a few beers.
Woman: Good thing [boss] doesn't like beer! (sarcastic)
Supervisor: Yeah...he's more a Clamato kind of guy. See ya'll - let's go.

Woman: "Hey! I just noticed the top comes off this lava lamp. This would make a great shot glass."

Me: Want to get pizza tomorrow? I could pick it up on my scooter?
Woman: Sure! Sounds good. Lets ask Man - "Hey! You want pizza tomorrow? Cus you haven't had any fattening lunches this week"
Man: "Not with you. I'll have it with him - we can share it. You can get your own."
Me: "She's spiteful"
Man: "She's ugly!"
Woman #2: "Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly"